Love. A word with many faces, many meanings, many expressions. It's hard to sum up what takes a lifetime to learn.
A concept which brings intense feelings of elation and grief. A range of feelings and emotions that are so powerful that sometimes we lose ourselves in them. Love is both universal and personal. Even the word itself causes some folks to squirm with discomfort. Where for others it’s a word used freely and openly. But what is this illusive thing that we as humans all seek?
I have often asked this question: What is love? Some say love is taught to us, others say it’s our soul's pure expression. I think it’s both. My journey toward opening to, and discovering love came through the practice of self love. Another term thrown around the internet like a bag of laundry. But what the hell is it? For me, self love, is looking deeply within to witness all the parts. The beautiful bright ones, as well as the dark shadowy ones that we often wish to dismiss. To love them is to try and see them all, with acceptance and forgiveness. To discover and sit alongside ourselves with curiosity and care — as we would in any loving relationship. Accepting ourselves with kindness, compassion and care.
We’re complicated creatures. We can only see some parts of ourselves, it's not until we begin to deepen our relationship to self that we can start to seek other parts. It's interesting to think about the concept of Self. Our partners, children, parents, friends and peers all see us differently, within our different parts. How do you see yourself? What is the authentic self? We're changing day to day and the relationship with self has to be tended to as you would any relationship. Do you speak to yourself the way you speak to your loved ones? If you dismiss everything they say, while talking to them with disrespect and shame, would they remain your friend? No. Yet this is how many of us treat and speak to ourselves.
Self love is a journey. In this journey we get to know our true selves. From that comes ease, peace, happiness, joy, elation, amazing sex, connectedness, wisdom, and excitement. From that supple place, the heart opened place, comes love with and for another. My journey alongside self love, has brought me to the deepest most secure romantic relationship and love I have ever known.
What if today, on Valentines day, you make yourself heartshaped love notes? Make them beautiful and poignant. Sit with your eyes closed and say Hello!, greet yourself like a loved one. A mantra I often use is “I love you, and I’m listening” If you’re having a hard time with this, try to imagine how your inner circle sees you. Pour that love, even if it’s a glimmer, towards yourself. Hang your Valentines on your mirror as a reminder.
You are loved. And You are love.
xox
